Why did I even?

That moment when you feel so stupid for expecting something that would really cheer you up, but it's totally shit to other party.

Again.

Been reading my past posts, unhappy > happy. But again, I haven been feeling happy for awhile now. Or maybe it's just pms. Time for bed, and be nice.

Love, hate, relationship.

Typed a really long paragraph, but decided to rewrite. I'm so upset about today. Tried to make it better, but I ended up reaching home with a much heavier heart. Sometimes it's really depressing to think about what things might be in the future with your partner, when at times things just looks so impossible. It's so delicate, a touch and it will break. I'm not even so upset when we fought, but that moment was really painful. Walked home with tears in my eyes, thinking over and over of what I have done. This is the only time I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. Shutting myself in my room seems to be the best solution for now. I'm not running away from reality, but I just need time to be alone. It all boils down to one reason to why all this is happening, ME. Somehow I caused all these to happen. Can't think of any other reason to why we are like this. Need an escape.

I still get butterflies.

Been awhile that I blogged. So I guess it shall be a long post? (: Was busy with preparations for exams and all. Exams is over now and I hope I can score. At least I know, I put in some effort. Oh well, year 1 in NP is great so far and progressing on to year 2 soon. Fast isn't it? Recently just lost all my contacts and I'm not able to retrieve back all the contacts that I have lost. Seems like some people just don't reply to anything don't they? Or maybe they might think that since we have not been talking or contacting each other for so long, what for?

Well, I do not know the actual reason, but just making an assumption. No offenses, or hard feelings. But it isn't that hard to text or reply right? It's okay, I got back some of the more important contacts that I need and I'm fine with the others not replying. I mean, I can't force right? Be it whatever reasons, I already sent a personal and private message in FB, so if I don't get a reply, I won't force.

Okay, Vday has passed but I think it's still alright for me to post about Vday right? Well, Vday is simple for my and my bf. A kinda last min, screw up here and there but simple and enjoyable one. Get what I mean? No? Okay, I shall explain. At first, I thought I can spend the whole day with obviously, my bf. Unexpectedly, he told me he have some video conference thing in school from 4-6.30pm. So okay, first blow. Then I went to make a reservation for dinner but there was some miscommunication, and my reservation is cancelled. That's the second blow.

Cancelled reservation, so I had to look for a place to have dinner but not reservation. Ended up, we decided to go to Holland Village to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant. After deciding and all, I went to prepare myself while my bf is already in the video conference. Third blow, I was late because bus 74 decided to be a bitch and not arrive even went it states 5 minutes. So I reached and met my bf and went to the restaurant. Forth blow, Holland Village was freaking packed! The queue for the restaurant was freaking long, no kidding! Last blow, after dinner we wanted to chill so I suggested Starbucks. But wow, seems like the whole Holland Village decided to chill at Starbucks too! So no choice, we left and headed to Thomson.

Red velvet and chocolate cupcake.

But to say, I still love Thomson Starbucks the most! Bought some coffee for me and earl grey for bf and cupcakes to munch on! Bf was feeling sick that day so it adds on to the 5 blows I had, but this didn't affect that much. Can I say that we are a fairly young but old couple? Well, the things we do and like does not involve loud music, packed like sardines places and etc. Yes, we still hold hands, we still look at each other in the eyes and many more. It's 6 days to our next month but another 37 days to our 3rd year anni. 37 DAYS!! Although it's going to be 3 years together, I still get butterflies sometimes when I'm going to meet him.

The image of us first meeting is still so fresh. My first Vday together is still as fresh too. Can you believe it? We went to Marina Square for a pre-Vday dinner and we ate 8 plates of sushi each. Thinking back, we were kinda crazy but it's all enjoyable. All those different memories we shared, they keep resurfacing in my mind, be it good or bad. This relationship didn't come easy, and yes like every normal couple, we both had our ups and downs in this relationship. At some point, it was really bad, like already on the verge of breaking up. But, I'm glad that we stood strong and overcame that period of time together. That period was just a nightmare, never thought things could be that rough. This was the clip that made me realize that I have to cherish what I already have. For those who have not watched this, I urge you to. And yes, I teared when I watched it. So prepare some tissues if you tear easily like me! Click here to watch the video, Strangers again.

Will blog again soon, since I'm having my holidays! Till now, see ya! (:

And to my bf, I'm glad that we believed in each other.
Let's continue to work hard together and make our dream come true.
Alright?

Do you get that?

Do you get that feeling that you are actually not really needed by someone you think you meant a lot to?

Well, I get that. In fact, always. Not sure whether I am too sensitive to feelings or that I am always paranoid. Or maybe I have a split personality? That I am not me?

I hate the feeling of not being needed by people I regard as important or dear to me. It's like, I can't perform or do anything for them or they don't need me that much like how I needed them.

Do you get the same feeling like I do? If you do, show some support. Not being emo or what so, but just wanna express myself. That I really don't like that feeling, like it's there wouldn't be a difference with or without me, or whether they need me or not.

It applies to not only my family but also the one I hold dearly to. But well, maybe I'm not as great or nice that I think I am. Telling me things in the last minute, I don't really like that either.

Back after a run, I feel no better. I know I need something sweet.

两年十月

Baby, you light up my life like no one else.

Been awhile since I blogged, but first I would want to wish my love, a HAPPY 2 YEARS and 10 MONTHS being together!!

Alright, back to business. Well, school has been hectic for me as usual. With a lot of tutorials and projects to do, with so little time. To why I have little time even if I leave straight after school is because, I work part time on some days, and most importantly, I go gym with my bf on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So what about Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday?

I would be at the stadium doing my usual runs with my bf on Tuesdays, Saturday is dating day with bf. Sunday is work and homework day. Hectic life right? But well, I'm kinda used to and happy with this lifestyle. At least I get to meet my bf more often, I get to stay healthy and I can maintain my figure. Not saying I am blessed with very good figure, but I am satisfied with mine.

But finally, I can get better rest. I hope. Projects are all submitted, and I am left with the final exams for Year 1. By then, I aim to really rest really really well. But before I start to laze around, I should aim for a good result for the final exams. 3 very mentally draining modules. But as of now, I am kinda tired so I guess I should be going to bed now. Stay tuned for more posts, real soon. On Sunday I guess (: Night folks!

Because I'm only me, when I'm with you.

Another week is over, and it's already the second week of the year. Fast isn't it? School work is forever piling up, feel so bottled up. Spent the Saturday with my bf, just the usual (: But fulfilling. I just can never get enough of this. Next week is already Chinese New Year, but I don't feel the excitement like I used to when I was younger.

Come to think of it, I think we have all out grown the feeling of gathering together with your loved ones and just sit down and have fun with a cup of F&N orange and some CNY goodies. But well, life goes on right? It's going to be the fourth year I'm spending CNY with my bf. I can still remember clearly, like it was just yesterday when we first met. I wonder how it would be this year (:

Just half an hour before midnight, and I should get some sleep soon. Age is catching up with me real fast. In a blink of an eye, I'm turning 21 this august. When I always want to be older when I was younger, now I wish I can grow up slower. Still can't believe I'm going to be 21 this august. But whatever, a 21 and a 24 is better than a 18 and 21 together. Haha.

Just look at what we got ourselves into
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,
Love you

Overwhelmed..

A hug for me please?


“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

Pretty girls are everywhere nowadays. With makeup, no makeup, as long as you can name it, you will find it. If they are really blessed, a good figure would just be another bonus to them. Good eh? But there are also many, who are not so blessed but wish to be blessed. I'm just an average and plain girl, waiting to be blessed with good results in my studies for the effort I have put in. Pretty face and good figure is just secondary for me as of now. It's really hard to keep up with people who are younger than me in school. They seem to be so hardworking and are "born" smart, they rest so little but do so well in exams and all. Why can't I be like them too? I admit I'm kinda lazy when it comes to revision, but I do my tutorials, I try my best to understand every lecture, but I will never have results like them. Some just don't know how to be contented with their results. Or maybe I should say, what I am contented with, some will never see it as a good grade? Feeling so depressed recently, always have to urge to just cry but I don't know why. It's because of a D grade I got for Statistics last semester and my GPA now is so lousy. I got one A and two B for my other subjects, just because of a freaking D. Just got back my common test results, not really happy with them though. Passed all but 3 is just average, or below average compared to my classmates. What about the other 1? I just barely pulled through, by half a mark. With all these upcoming projects, I just hope I don't get marked down if I don't match their expectations. It's just this worries that keeps me awake in the night. Worrying that I haven finish tutorials, haven prepare for class test. Think my white hairs will be appearing soon. Knowing that a few of them can score 99/100, it worries me even more.

When will I be able to shine?

Never?

在我眼里

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

I always say that I have a handsome bf, from my point of view. But he doesnt believe me. ): He just got a new haircut this morning, a short faux hawk cut. Still as handsome as always, to me. Currently he is giving my brother maths tuition and I'm just doing my project by the side. Never knew why people can look so good, when they are serious. Know what i mean? Have plans for ourselves later at night, so I hope I can get my things done before he ends the tuition. I always thought, how my life would be like if I have never met him that day? Which was like about 3 years ago now.. Okay, back to work now.

如果那天没有遇见你, 我就不会是现在的我..

A revamp!

A sky full of lighters.

Hey guys, guess who's back?!

I am! Short and impromptu update! It has been a long long time ever since I updated my blog. The last time I ever updated was July 5, 2010! And today it's January 5, 2012. Life has been good for me for the recent years, a lot of ups and downs along the journey I took but what's important is those lessons I learnt.

2011 is over in a blink of an eye, I still can't believe that 2011 is over. I mean, isn't it a little too fast? But well, 2011 has a lot of bitter sweet memories for me though. Good to remember, bad to experience. But, I'm glad that my relationship and everything is going quite smoothly for me now. *Fingers crossed*

So finally I'm studying Business Studies in Ngee Ann Poly now. After 3 years of kindergarten education, 6 years of primary education, 4 years of secondary education and 3 years of ITE education. I FINALLY MADE IT INTO A POLY! But, projects and exams are the pain in the ass. Who said it was easy? Nobody!