sometimes you may not know by doing this you hurt me. i treat you as a very good friend. a friend that i can trust, believe, get advice from. but now, things seems to be different already. you've seemed to find someone " you own kind " . and then, we are like drifting apart. i dunno why. but maybe this is only my part of thinking. but well, let's see.
and YOU, you stood up on me. fun arhhs? tuesday. from sunday push till tuesday, you oso very clever. i dunno what to say. i call you twice, sms you once, you didn even pick up or even reply. but when my friend call, you pick up after 2 calls. are you avoiding me? seriously, i dun find a need by doing that.

saw a few familiar faces today. a BIG thank you to Mr SILLY !!! thanks for coming down and help with that photo. hees.. thanks arhhs. =D


are you keeping your promise to meet me tml and pass me back the stuffs?
will you even contact me?
well, we shall see.

take me away.
im thinking of you..

when can i see such a beautiful sky?
who will take me there?


was asked to blog and so, im blogging.
now, my brother is sleeping soundly on the sofa.
he fell asleep while watching his favourite anime..
hahhahas.
and i snapped a picture of him.
going to laugh at him tml when he wakes up..
i so bad horr?
hahhahahaa.
bored, so bored, very bored, extremely bored.
went macpherson ite for the stupid seminar.
so lame.
make me SO SO SO SO SO SO sleepy.
and it got nothing to do with us.
the speakers kept talking about the engineering courses..
business course like transparent. -.-
but the mr christopher, omfg.
he is damn damn clever can.
he scored as much as 11 A+ and A..
he from ite student become relieve teacher den, course manager den manager of the students developments.
so damn li hai.
hahahaahs..
was my daddy's bdae yesterday.
the black forest cake was sooo nice..
(mandy will be going, "i want to eat cake! 1 week already, i haven eat my cake.)
hahhahas. right mandy?


thanks for the orange juice yesterday.
appreciated.
=)

went to eat sakae sushi with mandy and da jie yesterday.
they say i very random.
hahah.
is because mandy say she want eat sushi, and so i say, we go eat sakae luhh. got buffet mahhs.
saw eve with her dad while eating.
BEST WISHES to YOU, EVE. =)


okay, im fine. or not?

thanks you so much IN PING !! thanks for helping me change my blogskin. love you so much. i promise i will learn how to change, soon. hahah.. school today was usual. we went for a job interview at ISETAN. hmmm, it went on smoothly bahhs. hees. we crapped quite alot over there. the siblings all went except for jia bin.. after the interview, mandy keep saying that she want to eat this, eat that. make me feel like eating them too. especially, ICE CREAM !! =D walked around town for awhile and went home around 7pm plus? hahaha. so funny luhh. when we were going home that time, da jie and rayne keep pulling mandy's bag preventing her to board the mrt. den when our mrt came, it was so packed. only wei hua and connie managed to squeeze in. and so, they both went off first. mandy kept saying, "ke si" which is go die in hokkien. hahhaha. so funny. da jie kept laughing non-stop. reached home, after shower jiu not sleepy lerr. everytime like that.. -.- haiish.

it has been ages since i changed a blogskin. but i cant really find one that i like.. what a boring 16th of nov. i didnt expect it to turn out like this. what went wrong? sigh. misses.

its already the 16th of november 2008. HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY to ONG JIA BIN (xiao mei) !!! and happy 18th birthday to you too my friend, guo xiu bin.

BORED. stayed at home today as nobody asked me out. =( im so bored. from that day onward, every saturday and sunday, i will be very free. hahah. good or bad? ohh, can someone please keep me busy.. yesterdat was rayne's birthday, so HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY !! tml will be jia bin and his birthday, but so sad, i wun be celebrating with him anymore and for jia bin, think you working bahhs.. hahahs. but anyway, you two really like the presents we gave mahhs? hahah. brothers zhuang. hahha.. i so bored until i went around looking for pictures to edit. so i edited some photos and uploaded them. enjoy !!

had napfa today. running 2.4km that time, thanks da jie and wynny for motivating me to run. and ta-da, my position is 7th. im so damn happy. first time i ran so fast. can go inside top 10. hahah.. at first is we 8 girls run together. but then after awhile, only left me, da jie and wynny running. wynny position 5th, da jie 6th and me, 7th. hahaha. the other 5 staions oso okay bahhs. damn tired.. after napfa, mandy, da jie, da jie fu and me still got the energy to go until BUGIS shop shop. hahah. tired but after a shower, i feel so refreshed, not tired already. what to do? thats life. life still have to carry on without you.

you even deleted me from your friendster. how could you? you said that we can be friends, but why you do this? friends dun do this to friends. friends think about the other party feelings before doing anything that hurts their feelings. how could you?

we had the make up lesson today. haha.. and now i know that actually wynny and me really resemble each other. LOLS. she is my "jie jie".. mandy, get well soon. my stomach oso pain. =(

how to not think of you? i went to my room, seeing everything that you had given me, makes me reminded of you. the jacket im wearing now, is the one that you bought for me. its raining for the whole day, so cold. last time when we are still together, you would hug me and say that you will protect me forever. but where are you now? gone. no longer mine. its going to be hard for me to forget you, but i will try. i will try to hold back my tears whenever i think of you. i got to stay strong. STRONG.. days without you, sucks. why do i keep thinking of you when im at my weakest? you wun be there for me anymore. but i will keep this sentence in my mind, you didnt cherish me and its your loss.

we broke up on the 10th nov 2008, 5.23pm. im single now. all alone, feeling empty. everyone is telling me maybe a break up is even better. but it doesn mean that just saying let go means let go. its hard and its even harder given my character. every time i walk to the place where we both walked pass, i think of you. every time my phone rings, i think that it might be you. but i know, its impossible. you gave me reasons that its because of your mum, you decided to break up with me. is being friends really better? well, i dunno. its gonna be hard for me to forget you. i dunno you will still miss me or even use one second to think about me but i hope that you will keep all those memories that we had. no matter its good or bad.. i dun know that you will read my blog or not but i jus wanna say out my feelings. its gonna be real hard for me to adapt to my new life without you. we have been together for almost 10 months. this coming 16th will be your birthday and our 10 month anniversary but why? why the sudden change? why a sudden break up? friday the 7th of nov, you can treat me so so well, but why? you suddenly went missing on sunday, not wanting to pick up my calls, not wanting to reply my sms, avoiding me, not wanting to contact me. when your friends call you, you can happily pick up their calls but when i call you, its either you off your phone or jus let it ring until its automatically hangs up. i dunno what did i do wrong to get all this nonsense from you. you hurted me, DEEPLY. i didnt expect you to treat me like how they treat me last time. i didnt expect that you will lie to me so many times jus to go out and play with your friends. maybe i really too soft hearted. i gave you so many chances to change but yet, this is what i get from you. have i ever shouted at you? when have i ever not answered your calls? when have i ever break a promise that i made to you? but to you, promises are like, meant to be broken. so many empty promises, so many lies, but yet, i still gave you chances to change. all because of your mum, we broke up. now i think your mum must be celebrating already, cause we finally broke up. maybe i should think to the more positive side that we broke up is because your mum is threatening you with whatever reasons and you didn want to hurt her, so you hurt me instead. maybe you are trying to be a filial son after making your mum worry for you too much. or maybe is because your mum is going back, she wants you to go back, den you wan me to give up all hopes on you, thats why you say you dun love me anymore. well, the truth is going to stay with you. i will not know the real answer. to say, i wun miss you, think of you, or love you is just lying to myself. its not possible for me to forget all those times that we spent together. maybe to you, im long forgotten. but to me, you are always there, in my mind and heart. how to not think of you? you can push me so high up and den jus suddenly throw me down without any warning. the rings, the stuff toys, photo frame and everything you gave me makes me think of you. i dunno whether the things i gave to you will still be with you or are they long thrown away by you or your mum. but its memories.. OUR MEMORIES. now every moment i think of you, my eyes gets teary, nose gets red, emotions run high. but i must get over you. i gotta stay strong even if i cannot.. every time when im with my friends, i will try very hard not to think of you, but when im all alone, the images of you jus flow through my brain. im so depressed. you promised me that you will celebrate your birthday with me but why? now, it will be your friends celebrating for you, no longer me. my heart is REALLY broken, wounded. you said that you wan to be friends with me, but how is it possible to even be friends when your mum hates me so much? she has already asked you NOT to contact me in any ways. why is she so ungrateful? did she forget how i helped her when you were quarrelling with her? does she need me to remind her how much things have i done for you and her? forget it, by saying all this, you wun even come back to me.. friends? hope that we still can be friends bahhs. i have lost all my hopes.

you are my past, i will always remember you.
and you are always on my mind.
16.01.08 till 10.11.08
i still love you, but do you?

i hate you. i really do. but its so hard to let you go. stop lying, will you? say i dun love you anymore is lying to mtyself, but what to do? im hurting myself.

thank YOU for listening to me. thank YOU for letting me tag along with you today and let me listen to your guitar skills. how i wish i got a bf like you. but so sad, i jus datt soft hearted. knowing that he is treating me no good, i still stay and let him bully. but, its jus so hard to let go.

happy birthday to evelyn and michelle !!!!!!! =D

im happy, im sad, im du lan, im pissed off, im dumb, im elated. fuck. but now, im feeling weird. why? emotions, feelings are confused, mixed up. dunno what to say now..