Love, what's love?

Live your life like you have never live before and maybe happiness is on it way to find you.

Sometimes, it's human nature to take people and things for granted.

But once you have woken up, everything will be fine. Or will it be?

I really dont know what to say.

Human are all cruel and ugly creatures that prey on one another in order to survive.

Isnt it?

Just hope that everything will be alright and we'll be like always.

Treasure the present, reminisce the past.

Monday, 25 Jan 2010.
S&W time !!!

Random photos before we start S&W. The most tiring captain ball game i ever had with another class. I thought both classes agreed to make a friendly match. But, it's not as friendly as we think. Oh well, for sportsmanship, we endure. (:

In the night

With the remaining 8 sparkles left, we created this.

(More in facebook.)

MY NAME! :D

Out with the girls for dinner at cathay aston. Dinner was nice, and cheap. After dinner, cabbed to wendy house and off to evelyn place. While playing the sparkles, okay, just started to unwrap the wrapping and Evelyn's dog scared the shit out of us, suddenly went missing. But clever enough, it went back to the same tower. (: Loyal dogs. Cool! Stayed till 1am plus and wendy drive us back. THANKS WENDY! (: School at 12 the next morning. Lucky. (:

More outings next time! :D
Good time.

Dont read if you dont want to. You dont have to read it.

All that i have said is based on what i feel and think. You dont have to read it if you dont want to. You can laugh all you want, say all you one but for those who wants to give sarcastic remarks, you can jolly well keep them to yourself. I dont need them anyway.


Im experiencing that helpless feeling once again. Nothing i do seem to please, nothing i do seems to be right. Totally helplessness. Everything i do, seem to make everything worst. Sometimes, i ask myself. Why am i in this situation again? All i do, just creates problems, becomes fights. I pick on every little thing. Why? Who can tell me why? Is it i expect too much? Am i expecting too much? Am i demanding? Who can tell me what's demanding? I just wanted to talk to someone, i turn to you. But, when i start to let my guard down, we quarrel. Yea, my fault. And now, who else can i turn to? I just want a little bit of help, a little bit of protection, a little bit of security, a hug and a pair of listening ears and i'll be fine.. You dont want to listen , fine, it's okay. Let me know that you'll be there when i need you. I always thought i was good, but it seems to be im not enough good. Im far from good. I dunno where i stand. I dunno where to stand. From young, im already like this. I always wait for people to come talk to me, i wait for people to tell me what's happening, i wait for people to tell me what im supposed to do. Many times, i tell myself, i shouldnt let this happen. But i dunno how to rewrite everything. How i wish i had a reset button so that i could just reset my life. Minus the bad choices, bad decisions, plus all the good and wonderful ones. But i just cant. This is me, im like this. Im not confident. Im bad, im not good. Im really far from good. I always thought i have what i want, but end up, i have nothing that i ever wanted. Yes, some people might be laughing at me and thinking in their mind, saying out loud. Oh, vivian also will like that one? Yes, im also human and i need the extra pair of hands to lift me up and not to only say, reprimand and continue saying. When i ask what can i do, i expect an answer. I dont want you to ask me back, ask me to think on my own. When i ask, means im clueless. I always thought looking up to the sky, would stop the tears from flowing. But im wrong, im so wrong. I end up crying like a broken dam. Yes, im a cry baby, i dunno how to speak up, i always keep everything to myself and end up exploding. I also need someone to talk to, but i just cant find the right one. I have tried but that person i thought was nice, turn out to be "nice". Every little thing, add up to one big thing. Is listening to friends a better choice? I asked myself what to do, but all i can think of is, nothing, total blank. I always wanted things to work out, but in the end, the quarrels occurs even more. Why is this so? Why? I always ask myself, WHY? I already working on my bad points, i know i get upset by every little small thing. Since last week, i have been trying to tell how i feel, hint you that i was upset. You didnt get it, so i gave up hinting. I told you, you told me wait for another day. When i say i want to meet, means i got something to say. Yea, it might not be a big deal to wait another day for you, but to me, yes is it. Human nature that we pick on the bad points. And it's also my fault. Maybe im just not trying hard enough. When i need you, i just need you to be there. You can do any other things you want, but i just need your presence, your assurance. It's good enough. Yes, i know im in the wrong. And now, who else can i turn to? Im like slapping myself with my own hand because i dont speak up and i wish that people will understand me. I really thought so. Maybe i brought this upon myself. Maybe i dont even deserve anything. I always thought i am a person who is easy to understand, but it turns out to be that im not. Im far worst. Im a person with low confidence, i dont speak up, im okay with anything. But now i know, actually im not okay to anything. I just keeping quiet to make things easier but ends up, even harder. Im okay to nothing. I used to have someone to talk to, but now no more. Alright, go on, move on. A total piece of shit.

Just changed my blog songs again, shuffled them cause i got a total of 11 songs. Just doing a random post here. Haha. Too bored. Weather now don't seem too good.. Like abit cloudy, like going to rain and it better not as i'm going to meet Baby later. Hope it doesn't rain man. Okay, while tying this, it RAINED. HEAVY RAIN SOMEMORE. Tsk. Well, i better go get ready now. Cause meeting Baby at 7.15pm, city hall mrt. And i very tu~ (slow) one so i better go prepare now. I say go prepare, but i will do something else before preparing. Then try on clothes to see which one suits better. If i say somemore, confirm will tu until 5pm+ then go prepare. Alright luh, bye people! :)

The rain better stop before i leave house.
If not, .......
I bring umbrella out lor.. =/
Haha!

I never gave up. Well, i don't know what to say. All i know was, after so many years, is it still the same?

Twenty Ten !

LOOK AT THE CROWD OVER AT MARINA. LIKE SARDINES. LOL!

Me, Baby, Kenneth and Suyi.

Spent the first few mintues of 2010, watching fireworks live with Baby.

One of my new year resolution. (To watch fireworks live with my boyfriend.)

Baby, i love you.

Im not going to care, i am not.