Love, hate, relationship.

Typed a really long paragraph, but decided to rewrite. I'm so upset about today. Tried to make it better, but I ended up reaching home with a much heavier heart. Sometimes it's really depressing to think about what things might be in the future with your partner, when at times things just looks so impossible. It's so delicate, a touch and it will break. I'm not even so upset when we fought, but that moment was really painful. Walked home with tears in my eyes, thinking over and over of what I have done. This is the only time I really didn't feel like talking to anyone. Shutting myself in my room seems to be the best solution for now. I'm not running away from reality, but I just need time to be alone. It all boils down to one reason to why all this is happening, ME. Somehow I caused all these to happen. Can't think of any other reason to why we are like this. Need an escape.

I still get butterflies.

Been awhile that I blogged. So I guess it shall be a long post? (: Was busy with preparations for exams and all. Exams is over now and I hope I can score. At least I know, I put in some effort. Oh well, year 1 in NP is great so far and progressing on to year 2 soon. Fast isn't it? Recently just lost all my contacts and I'm not able to retrieve back all the contacts that I have lost. Seems like some people just don't reply to anything don't they? Or maybe they might think that since we have not been talking or contacting each other for so long, what for?

Well, I do not know the actual reason, but just making an assumption. No offenses, or hard feelings. But it isn't that hard to text or reply right? It's okay, I got back some of the more important contacts that I need and I'm fine with the others not replying. I mean, I can't force right? Be it whatever reasons, I already sent a personal and private message in FB, so if I don't get a reply, I won't force.

Okay, Vday has passed but I think it's still alright for me to post about Vday right? Well, Vday is simple for my and my bf. A kinda last min, screw up here and there but simple and enjoyable one. Get what I mean? No? Okay, I shall explain. At first, I thought I can spend the whole day with obviously, my bf. Unexpectedly, he told me he have some video conference thing in school from 4-6.30pm. So okay, first blow. Then I went to make a reservation for dinner but there was some miscommunication, and my reservation is cancelled. That's the second blow.

Cancelled reservation, so I had to look for a place to have dinner but not reservation. Ended up, we decided to go to Holland Village to have dinner at a Mexican restaurant. After deciding and all, I went to prepare myself while my bf is already in the video conference. Third blow, I was late because bus 74 decided to be a bitch and not arrive even went it states 5 minutes. So I reached and met my bf and went to the restaurant. Forth blow, Holland Village was freaking packed! The queue for the restaurant was freaking long, no kidding! Last blow, after dinner we wanted to chill so I suggested Starbucks. But wow, seems like the whole Holland Village decided to chill at Starbucks too! So no choice, we left and headed to Thomson.

Red velvet and chocolate cupcake.

But to say, I still love Thomson Starbucks the most! Bought some coffee for me and earl grey for bf and cupcakes to munch on! Bf was feeling sick that day so it adds on to the 5 blows I had, but this didn't affect that much. Can I say that we are a fairly young but old couple? Well, the things we do and like does not involve loud music, packed like sardines places and etc. Yes, we still hold hands, we still look at each other in the eyes and many more. It's 6 days to our next month but another 37 days to our 3rd year anni. 37 DAYS!! Although it's going to be 3 years together, I still get butterflies sometimes when I'm going to meet him.

The image of us first meeting is still so fresh. My first Vday together is still as fresh too. Can you believe it? We went to Marina Square for a pre-Vday dinner and we ate 8 plates of sushi each. Thinking back, we were kinda crazy but it's all enjoyable. All those different memories we shared, they keep resurfacing in my mind, be it good or bad. This relationship didn't come easy, and yes like every normal couple, we both had our ups and downs in this relationship. At some point, it was really bad, like already on the verge of breaking up. But, I'm glad that we stood strong and overcame that period of time together. That period was just a nightmare, never thought things could be that rough. This was the clip that made me realize that I have to cherish what I already have. For those who have not watched this, I urge you to. And yes, I teared when I watched it. So prepare some tissues if you tear easily like me! Click here to watch the video, Strangers again.

Will blog again soon, since I'm having my holidays! Till now, see ya! (:

And to my bf, I'm glad that we believed in each other.
Let's continue to work hard together and make our dream come true.
Alright?

Do you get that?

Do you get that feeling that you are actually not really needed by someone you think you meant a lot to?

Well, I get that. In fact, always. Not sure whether I am too sensitive to feelings or that I am always paranoid. Or maybe I have a split personality? That I am not me?

I hate the feeling of not being needed by people I regard as important or dear to me. It's like, I can't perform or do anything for them or they don't need me that much like how I needed them.

Do you get the same feeling like I do? If you do, show some support. Not being emo or what so, but just wanna express myself. That I really don't like that feeling, like it's there wouldn't be a difference with or without me, or whether they need me or not.

It applies to not only my family but also the one I hold dearly to. But well, maybe I'm not as great or nice that I think I am. Telling me things in the last minute, I don't really like that either.

Back after a run, I feel no better. I know I need something sweet.

两年十月

Baby, you light up my life like no one else.

Been awhile since I blogged, but first I would want to wish my love, a HAPPY 2 YEARS and 10 MONTHS being together!!

Alright, back to business. Well, school has been hectic for me as usual. With a lot of tutorials and projects to do, with so little time. To why I have little time even if I leave straight after school is because, I work part time on some days, and most importantly, I go gym with my bf on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. So what about Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday?

I would be at the stadium doing my usual runs with my bf on Tuesdays, Saturday is dating day with bf. Sunday is work and homework day. Hectic life right? But well, I'm kinda used to and happy with this lifestyle. At least I get to meet my bf more often, I get to stay healthy and I can maintain my figure. Not saying I am blessed with very good figure, but I am satisfied with mine.

But finally, I can get better rest. I hope. Projects are all submitted, and I am left with the final exams for Year 1. By then, I aim to really rest really really well. But before I start to laze around, I should aim for a good result for the final exams. 3 very mentally draining modules. But as of now, I am kinda tired so I guess I should be going to bed now. Stay tuned for more posts, real soon. On Sunday I guess (: Night folks!

Because I'm only me, when I'm with you.

Another week is over, and it's already the second week of the year. Fast isn't it? School work is forever piling up, feel so bottled up. Spent the Saturday with my bf, just the usual (: But fulfilling. I just can never get enough of this. Next week is already Chinese New Year, but I don't feel the excitement like I used to when I was younger.

Come to think of it, I think we have all out grown the feeling of gathering together with your loved ones and just sit down and have fun with a cup of F&N orange and some CNY goodies. But well, life goes on right? It's going to be the fourth year I'm spending CNY with my bf. I can still remember clearly, like it was just yesterday when we first met. I wonder how it would be this year (:

Just half an hour before midnight, and I should get some sleep soon. Age is catching up with me real fast. In a blink of an eye, I'm turning 21 this august. When I always want to be older when I was younger, now I wish I can grow up slower. Still can't believe I'm going to be 21 this august. But whatever, a 21 and a 24 is better than a 18 and 21 together. Haha.

Just look at what we got ourselves into
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,
Love you

Overwhelmed..

A hug for me please?


“Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

Pretty girls are everywhere nowadays. With makeup, no makeup, as long as you can name it, you will find it. If they are really blessed, a good figure would just be another bonus to them. Good eh? But there are also many, who are not so blessed but wish to be blessed. I'm just an average and plain girl, waiting to be blessed with good results in my studies for the effort I have put in. Pretty face and good figure is just secondary for me as of now. It's really hard to keep up with people who are younger than me in school. They seem to be so hardworking and are "born" smart, they rest so little but do so well in exams and all. Why can't I be like them too? I admit I'm kinda lazy when it comes to revision, but I do my tutorials, I try my best to understand every lecture, but I will never have results like them. Some just don't know how to be contented with their results. Or maybe I should say, what I am contented with, some will never see it as a good grade? Feeling so depressed recently, always have to urge to just cry but I don't know why. It's because of a D grade I got for Statistics last semester and my GPA now is so lousy. I got one A and two B for my other subjects, just because of a freaking D. Just got back my common test results, not really happy with them though. Passed all but 3 is just average, or below average compared to my classmates. What about the other 1? I just barely pulled through, by half a mark. With all these upcoming projects, I just hope I don't get marked down if I don't match their expectations. It's just this worries that keeps me awake in the night. Worrying that I haven finish tutorials, haven prepare for class test. Think my white hairs will be appearing soon. Knowing that a few of them can score 99/100, it worries me even more.

When will I be able to shine?

Never?

在我眼里

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

I always say that I have a handsome bf, from my point of view. But he doesnt believe me. ): He just got a new haircut this morning, a short faux hawk cut. Still as handsome as always, to me. Currently he is giving my brother maths tuition and I'm just doing my project by the side. Never knew why people can look so good, when they are serious. Know what i mean? Have plans for ourselves later at night, so I hope I can get my things done before he ends the tuition. I always thought, how my life would be like if I have never met him that day? Which was like about 3 years ago now.. Okay, back to work now.

如果那天没有遇见你, 我就不会是现在的我..

A revamp!

A sky full of lighters.

Hey guys, guess who's back?!

I am! Short and impromptu update! It has been a long long time ever since I updated my blog. The last time I ever updated was July 5, 2010! And today it's January 5, 2012. Life has been good for me for the recent years, a lot of ups and downs along the journey I took but what's important is those lessons I learnt.

2011 is over in a blink of an eye, I still can't believe that 2011 is over. I mean, isn't it a little too fast? But well, 2011 has a lot of bitter sweet memories for me though. Good to remember, bad to experience. But, I'm glad that my relationship and everything is going quite smoothly for me now. *Fingers crossed*

So finally I'm studying Business Studies in Ngee Ann Poly now. After 3 years of kindergarten education, 6 years of primary education, 4 years of secondary education and 3 years of ITE education. I FINALLY MADE IT INTO A POLY! But, projects and exams are the pain in the ass. Who said it was easy? Nobody!

Only if..

Only if i could turn back the time, many things wouldn't even have happened. Be it is good or bad, happy or sad.

Only if i could think about what i should do and not what i want to do, many unhappiness can be eased.

Only if i could think straight for the moment and not let other emotions take control over me, i wouldn't be like this today.

Only if i could be a little more smarter, i wouldn't have caused so many troubles in my 18 years of life.

Only if things were much easier, there wouldn't be problems to solve.

Only if i have better understanding and control, i would have been better.

If all is only if, if all i had was a time machine.

It's always only if.

BACK.

Almost forgot that i have a blog. Lol. Well, now that i have my own laptop, i might be updating often. Might be only. (: Well, short update now. Currently having attachment at this spa/salon place. Environment is good, people there is great. Just that i find them very funny. Oh well, attachment coming to an end, means school is going to reopen very soon. Until then, bye people! (:

Lost.

Find me my paradise. Where is it? Find me a perfect getaway.

Hell out of a week.

Monday 26 April 2010
School was LOL. Pom teacher cant stand half of our class sleeping, and the other half not paying attention, so he released us early. Hahaha! Went to meet Baby first because he taking MC. Poor thing, fall sick ): And anyway, Amk was pouring!!! Flood somemore. My school shoe wet like dunno what when i tried to tip-toe across a puddle and a uncle just step right into the puddle. I gave up, just walk across, and whole shoe wet. TSK. But, it was cooling though. (: Weic came over my place to bake her teddy bear. Damn funny, it became volcano eruption!!! Hahaha! But still, we managed to get a shape out of it. Hope her bf will appreciate this. Baking isnt easy.

Sunday 25 April 2010
Baby's mum birthday. Bought her chocolates as presents with a nice carrier. Abit no effort but was late min so, sorry uh. Went Bras Basah Complex and Marina Square with Baby to get something and ended up playing bishi bashi in the arcade, causing us to be a little late. But, dinner at Jack's Place was alright. Only i think the salmon they never control the fire properly, abit over cooked. =/

Saturday 24 April 2010
Today Baby will be having his very first dragonboat race before his duty. Good luck! (:
And bloody hell, im very confused now. The guy told me this phone is good, that sucks, and good again. Im very confused and in the end, i went home with nothing, but with my super chui phone. ):


Friday 23 April 2010

Watched Bounty Hunter today at J8 and it was something like Date Night. And i still prefer Date Night. Haha. Must still, overall, nice. My tummy hurts like hell man. Sucks. ):
Oh, and Happy 19th Birthday to WeiHua!!!! (:
Hope you like the present.

Thursday 22 April 2010
Went over to WeiHua's birthday chalet. Super duper wu lu!!! Missed the shuttle and shared a cab to her chalet with 2 strangers but together with Baby uh. (: A little weird over there because dont really know her friends. Haha. But still, hope she enjoyed the chalet (:

Ass-kicked.

Watched KICK-ASS with Baby yesterday night after my school, after his work. The movie is overall not bad, quite nice but it's a little gore. Okay, many scenes consists of blood and gore. It's a funny movie though. (: Recommended to watch this. And until now, i haven watch "How to train your dragon" Haha. But well, it's okay. (: Morning run with Baby just now, super hot and satisfactory. (: Fats burning time and body toning time. Haha! Well done!!! (:

Dont read if you dont feel like it.

Everyone has regrets, and i do have some too. The regret now i keep thinking about is, why did i not put in more effort to study for my olevels few years back. see my friends all going to poly, already in poly, makes me depressed. I mean, we are all of same age, mostly same school, same class even. But, they are already in poly, some even in year 2 already. And im still in ite. I never regret going to ite because i got to know nice friends over there, but it just pulls me down whenever i know, im always behind some people. This year is the last year of my 3 years in ite, and i want to get into a poly. I really want to, and i will work extra hard to achieve that. My CA told me that i made the greatest improvement in my grades since the first sem. Of course, i am happy. But this is not what i want yet, i want to get really good results and go to a poly easily. Im quite satisfied with the GPA i got this time round but my CA told me i could have gotten even higher GPA because the first sem results pulled my GPA down. Well, school just started yesterday and its time to study hard and play hard again. Sometimes, i feel almost invisible. Well, 习惯就好. Maybe someday, someone will sing me a beautiful melody. (:

Date night.

Watched "Date Night" with Baby, Aaron and Xuanyu yesterday night. Nice movie, i would recommend you guys to watch this movie. It's hilarious, touching, comedy romance movie. Especially if you're a couple, watch it. (: You want to be best partners, and not best room mates.
Maybe we should have a date night too? (:

True love, is falling in love with the same person many times.

Bangs? Should i?

I wonder how will i look if i had straight bangs like them? Hmm...

Wonder which hairstyle suit me the best.
Thinking thinking thinking.
Off to prepare. (:

Happy anniversary (:

Tuesday
06 04 2010
Baby came over my place for dinner. (: It quite boring though, cause there's nothing much to do at my place too. Hope he dont mind. (: But we managed to watch tv with my mum. Hahaha. Is that something good? I think yes arh, can strengthen the bond. (:


Monday
05 04 2010
(Part 2)
It was Baby's off day so we went down to an industry building to buy Baby the dragonboat paddle. (: Haha. Hope that he will enjoy dragonboat even more and do better in the up coming race. Cause, the paddle is i buy one. HAHA! (: Then, dinner at his place, and home sweet home.


Sunday

04 04 2010
1st anniversary. (Part 1)

My cute and naughty cousins. They came right before i went out. Too bad~ Haha!

Later in the afternoon:

Ate this red bean ice cream finally like after so many years luh. NICE! (:

He likes it too. (:

Took neo prints for the very first time after 1 year. Haha. Great achievement. (:
And of course, it was my idea.

Then dinner time:
Cha Cha Cha, Mexican restaurant.

Had our dinner, same dish too. (:

After dinner:
Chill at Esplanade. (:

Yes, it was a very simple day but i enjoyed myself. Did you? It was a happy happy day.
Officially together for 1 year, alot of ups and downs. But we always manage to pull through the down times. Yes, many times Baby did more things to pull us over but, i appreciated it. Maybe is because he went through much more things than me, he knows how to handle situations. Plus he is an officer, should be even better. Haha. :D Well, thanks Baby.
I love you.

Thursday
25 03 2010
Dao huey day. (:

Have been telling Baby dunno how many times that i want to eat dao huey and we ate it. (: Baby was nice enough to come meet me after my work and off we go to eat dao huey. Oh, dao huey is bean curd if any of you guys dunno. (: So sweet. Still remember got once, after his dragonboat training, he bought my mum and i dao huey. :D Isnt he sweet? Aww.. (:

Friday 2nd April 2010

(Good Friday)

Found this early in the morning in my living room. (Of course picture is taken from the web.) The thing spotted in my house is black with orange stripe, more to the second picture. Super duper scary for me to see as im really scared of insects. I mean, really scared. I see them, i run. Of course, no exception for this huge flying hornet. Yea, having a sister like me, my brother is bound to be scared of these kind of things too. Well, because i will shout and then run and hide myself in the room, asking for help. Haha. Sometimes, i find myself silly too. Im human and they are so many time smaller than me, but still, scared uh. Haha. After i woke up this morning, washed up and everything, i brought my breakfast to the living room and my brother was already using the computer. And then, this flying object flew past the tv, and towards my brother. So i shouted "Jo, BEE!!!" And poof, in a split second, my brother ran to the toilet, i ran into my dad's room, still shouting, "BEE BEE" My dad woke up, say this bee very dangerous and guess what. It flew into my room. THANKS UH. But my dad damn brave, (if not how to be my dad) he use newspaper to smack it and it flew out of the window. Lucky my dad at home, if not, i think my brother and i will die in the house. Cause none of us dare to smack it. Haha. Well, i hope my brother grow up faster in order to "protect" me from things like this in the house. (: Haha... Im very lucky to have a dad like him. (:

Oh well, i hope the rain stops sooner. It's wednesday and it's supposed to be running day for me with Baby!! ):

Please rain on other days...

Jam-packed!

This will be my 300th update since i created a blog. It has been quite some time since i updated my blog. So i planned to update this morning because i woke up early even though it's hoildays. Think im too used to waking up early, and reading my boyfriend's msg. Aww, so sweet. Hahaha! Alright, since my last update was on the 18 feb, i shall update everything. But, think im not going to upload any pictures. Too lazy and my com got brainwashed, everything gone. ): Anyway, it will be a jam packed post. Have fun reading! HAHAHA!

Sat 20 Feb

Went to meet my Baby for breakfast, followed by swimming! (: Went home, wash up and met Baby again together with aaron, to bugis and suntec. My Baby is going for dragonboat tml.. Oh, my tanned and muscular Baby~ HAHAHA! Day-dreaming!

Sun 21 Feb

Met Baby for dinner at AMK Hub.

22 & 23 Feb

Went over to Baby place because my com is dead. Dinner at his house too. (:

Wed 24 Feb

Went running with Baby after his work. Every wed is running day. (:

Fri 26 Feb

Working from 3-11pm. Tired.

Sat 27 Feb

Visited Baby's relatives. Last day of cny too.

Sun 28 Feb

Made mango pomelo sago dessert. Woohoo~ Damn nice. Asked Baby over to try. Hmm, he loved it. I guess. (: Haha.

Mon 1 March

Didnt go school.

2 & 3 March

UNHAPPY ):

Thurs 4 March

OH, Happy 11 months! Very soon, 1 year anni. Cant wait! (: Dunno why, i feel like we have been together for a very long time already cause maybe we went through alot of things but, the dates like tricking me. Haha. Anyway, met Baby for dinner and wanted to watch "Alice in wonderland 3D" but not much seats is left so, didnt manage to watch it.

Fri 5 March

Guess what. Baby met me for dinner and movie. :D Hahaha. Watched "Alice in wonderland 3D"

Woohoo~

Sat 6 March

Running session and breakfast with Baby. Went tpy then down to downtown, made Nebo cards and finally dinner at Baby's house because it's his duty day.

Mon, 8 March

WFB exam. Gosh, because of exams, i killed dunno how many millions of my precious brain cells. ):

Tues, 9 March

Made the mango dessert again. Asked Baby to bring back for his parents. (: I love making desserts. Who want to sponsor me? Hahaha.

Wed 10 March

Final papers, Hra and Tps. Underestimated the Tps paper. Running with Baby that evening. And, it's holidays!!! WOOHOO~~~ :D

Thurs 11 March

Met jason and szh for last min lunch. I want the dslr luh!!! ): Town with Baby. I tell you people who want cheap food court food. Go to centerpoint, the basement foodcourt. The food selling there is all $2 !!!!!!!! From now until the 14 of march. :D Go, hurry. Hahaha!